Look, friends, all this crap about Brexit has got out of hand.
There are those that want to keep the UK as part of the EU. And there are those that want the UK to leave the EU. With me so far?
The cumbersome mechanics of a referendum (even an honest one – which it isn’t and won’t be) mean that only one side can win.
Whichever side wins, the Remains or the Leaves, everyone else will be disappointed and angry.
Myself, I can see both sides of the coin. There have been both good and bad aspects of the European project. So, I’m going to put forward a way that both sides can win.
It’s simple. So simple, you’ll think I’m a genius.
One: Leave supporters proclaim a Unilateral Declaration of Independence. Immediately, they all stop paying taxes. They stop obeying all European laws. And they stop obeying all laws that have been made by any political party that supports the EU.
Two, they tell Remain supporters: “Look, if you like the EU so much, go and live in it.”
And both sides win. Supporters of Remain will go to live in EU countries. To France, or Germany, or wherever else they fancy. They’ll be happy with that. Supporters of Leave will be left in control of the islands called Britain. They’ll be happy with that, too.
So: those who want to Remain will leave. And those who want to Leave will remain.
And they’ll all live happily ever after.